Archive for September, 2009

How to follow-up feedback

September 28th, 2009

What we’ve learned so far was how to give feedback, how to receive feedback.

And here is a common situation: I’ve already give a negative feedback to someone, the process was good, the other listen and received well, but after a while, he/she is making the same thing, or the improvements are not the one expected and agreed.

In this case I need to give a second feedback: the follow-up feedback

I APPRECIATE YOU

When I need to give a second feedback on the same matter, I try to appreciate the efforts the other made to remedy the situation or behavior. I try to accentuate the positive and the evolution and in the same time make clear that there are still things that needs to be improved.

I’M OPTIMIST

OPENNESS

I try to show that I’m open to understand what happened and that we can work together to see what are the next steps. I try to help other understand what need to be done and where to put the focus.

WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS

COMMUNICATE about COMMUNICATION

I try to obtain a feedback about my first communication. And I’m trying to see if there was any things that were unclear or not well understood.

WE ARE SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE

You can you the following phrase to start the follow-up feedback:
“I noticed that after my last feedback you made some good steps. Now it is time to try together to identify what still need to be improved and what sabotaged this improvement. Also I would like to listen from you what you think about my last feedback and what things were not communicated clear or were uncertain”.

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How to receive feedback

September 25th, 2009

“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said” – Peter F. Drucker

I EVOLVE

Don’t be upset when you receive a negative feedback, no matter the form used by the other to give it. Remember this is an interaction from which you and I evolve. Both of us means well and it is trying to help other to evolve and learn something.

I LISTEN TO YOU.

I’M OPEN

If the feedback is not transmitted in a desired way, tell the other this as simple and clear as possible. Show the other how a feedback should be give and communicate clearly what you need.

I UNDERSTAND YOU

I WANT TO LEARN

If the feedback contains a general qualitative assumption (like “You’re good” or “You are bad”), suggest to the other to establish system of values reference at. Avoid a discussion about which systems of values is good or which is bad. Just stay focus on the subject.

I APPRECIATE YOU

I ACCEPT

Admit the mistake you’ve made (when a negative feedback) or the good thing you’ve done (at a positive feedback) and try to obtain as many information as you can to solve the issue (for negative feedback) or continue on the same path (in case of positive feedback)

HELP ME UNDERSTAND

I CARE WHAT YOU THINK

Do not say excuses or try to blame for negative feedback, or try to minimize your involvement. Just communicate that you care about the other person’s feelings.

I CARE ABOUT YOU

There is more about feedback: the follow-up feedback. I will write about this in the next post

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How to give feedback

September 23rd, 2009

What is the shortest english word which contains the letters: A, B, C, D, E, F? It is: Feedback

SIMPLE

Make it simple. Just say what you want to say, without adding any unnecessary words or ideas.

OPENNESS

The most important message that you want to communicate during a feedback is: “I’m ok, you are ok!”. This is made by attitude and tone of voice. This will open a communication channel between you as giver and the other person as receiver.

HE/SHE WILL LISTEN.

HELP

An important thing to establish from the beggining is that you will not give feedback to the person, but you will give feedback for activity or results. And you need to accentuate the fact that you are willing to provide help for the other to identify problems and solutions. This way the receiver will be willing to discuss very open and easy about the results, without » Read more: How to give feedback

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Intro to feedback

September 21st, 2009

A while ago I’ve made a short training at the company I work about how to give and receive feedback. I’ve remembered today about it and I want to share to you what I think about how to give and receive feedback.

Someone said “Feedback is the breakfast of champions”.

There are multiple documented ways and books and articles about how to give and how to receive feedback.

And beyond all of them, feedback is a basic one-to-one sincere communication.

When it is about giving feedback, it should be simple, based on facts and without making any assumptions or judgement.

Here are some simple rules about how to give positive feedback: » Read more: Intro to feedback

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Really listening to others

September 18th, 2009

This is the most important aspect of any human interaction: The ability to listen what other is saying!

Probably you, like me, got into a discussion with an already well anchored idea. I believed that what I know and what I think it is the right thing to say or to do.

And I’ve started to interrupt the other person and started to make judgments, cause I really knew well the situation.

But, I’ve found out that my assumptions and my believes can be very far away than what the other person is trying to communicate to me. And by doing so, I just end the communication cause I make other to get defensive or offensive. And when a part of communication is in this state, there is no communication.

Also I’ve found that if I really listen to others, I can be more creative about solving a problem or dealing with a situation.

Cause if I really listen, then the communication always bring more details, information that can help me take a decision or act.
And most important of all, I can transmit to the other that what he/she is saying it is important for me.

It helps if I try to see what others are thinking and try to imagine myself in their place. This help me understand them and listen to them more carrefully.

One gold rule I’ve learned about conversations is this: If someone opens to you and try to communicate something that bothers him/her, do NOT interrupt it ever. Don’t make judgments or assumptions during the openness part of the conversation. Just stay there and listen or encourage him to continue.

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Posted in Leadership, People

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What tools I use to keep track of my projects

September 16th, 2009

I’ve tried to use many tools and software to keep track of my projects.

I used them one or two days, or a week, then I dropped them, cause they only added more confusing or more stress on my to-do lists.

I tried to use sticky notes put on my monitor with the important things to do in one day.

And then I forgot to look at them or I’ve got used with them and didn’t noticed.

Now I’ve realized that I have a great tool to organize the important things I need to do in one day.

This great tool is » Read more: What tools I use to keep track of my projects

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Dare to be happy

September 14th, 2009

Dare to ask, even if you will not like other’s answer.

Dare to receive presents from your heart.

Dare to share a negative feedback.

Dare to choose your friends, even if you need to refuse sincere some of people you know

Dare to give, to simple give to others, without expectations, without regrets. Just give fully.

Dare to say Yes, when you really like something or someone.

Dare to say No, even if this will upset others, or make us feel uncomfortable.

Dare to smile, no matter of the situation. » Read more: Dare to be happy

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Don’t plan the future, do it now

September 8th, 2009

We as human, have the tendency to want to know the future.

And as we don’t have this special ability to see how future looks (and thanks God we don’t have it), we are trying to plan the future.

It is good to have a clear goal and a vision about where you are and where you want to go and how to do it, but pay attention not to spend too much time on planning the future.

Notice each time you get disappointed that your plans didn’t worked. But you know what happens if you remain in this state? You miss opportunities :)

Cause it does not matter if the plan » Read more: Don’t plan the future, do it now

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