So there is a misconception saying that “We need to have something before being or acting”.

And I will explain about this with some short examples:
- We want to have respect of the others, before respecting them (before being respectful to them)
- We want to have understanding of others, before we try to understand them
- We want to have attention of others, before we pay attention to them
- We want to have forgiveness of others, before we forgive them
- We want to have caring of others, before we care about them
- We want to have love of others, before loving them

And here the list is as long as we want to make it.

What is the trick here?

Some people consider this type of attitude as being independent, centered on I, but this is the trick.
Even if this attitude appears like putting myself in the center, what happens is that I’m paying to much attention on the behavior of others and less attention on my own feelings, behaviors, desired.

So I’m conditioning my actions on other people actions. And this can be express simple: If I want others to do something, before I do, then I’m reactive, not proactive.

The change here it is simple:  First BE and then WANT from others.
To rewrite the examples from above:
And I will explain about this with some short examples:
- Be respectful, before asking for respect of others
- Be a good listener, before demanding others to listen to you
- Be open and watchful and vigilant, before asking others to pay attention to you
- Be a forgiver, before asking others to forgive you
- Be careful, before you want others to care about you
- Be in love, before others will love you

In other words: Be inside to have outside

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