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Living on the short scale

June 14th, 2010

Where we are now

Often I can notice thinking on a short scale. And I’m not referring here at living the moment – which is a wonderful thing. I’m talking about limits and assumptions and judgments derived by living on the short scale theory, which I describe like this:

Maybe I’m the only one who thinks this way so there is no point to do it, cause it will not have any impact to myself or to the environment around me

I don’t know exactly from where it comes.

We are 6 billions of people on this planet.

Like Lao-Tzu said:

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

What happens if a percent might be thinking like this? What if 1.000.000 people » Read more: Living on the short scale

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Is it?

March 16th, 2010

Auto-pilot

Many times we are on auto-pilot. Automatically responding to what happens in our lives, to what triggers our social and personal auto-mechanisms.

We’re believing most of what we hear.

Trusting well known “truths” just because our someone from our life believed in them and told us in some point in time (most of them during childhood) that “This thing should be this way!”

The question(s)

Just remember that many of the important achievements, steps forward, innovations and creations came because someone, sometime put this » Read more: Is it?

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How can 6 people really understand each other

February 11th, 2010

Perception creates images

So, we are communicating every moment. And like someone said (don’t remember who right now):” You cannot not communicate”.

Let’s analyze a little how our minds work when we are communicating.

There is a real version of myself that is determined by all decisions I’ve made in the past, all the hopes I have for the future and all the moments I live in the now. And in all this mix, here comes the perception. The perception is the capacity of our mind to transform the reality based on our own world map.

So, how perception works in a communication?

It works well cause along with assumptions and expectations it creates two new versions of myself when I’m participating in a communication:

1. The “I” as I want to see myself

2. The “I” as others » Read more: How can 6 people really understand each other

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Posted in Communication, Development, Featured

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Awareness of needs – a path to autonomy

January 19th, 2010

Autonomy is one of the big points that improves leadership and allows a person to take good decisions.

One of the big instruments that gives power to autonomy is the awareness of our needs.

Why is this important? Because when you know your needs, then you know what is determining some of your behaviors. And just by knowing this, you improve your autonomy.

Every person has needs and not recognizing this means you just ignore a true fact: you, like anyone else have needs.

What to do about needs:

Acknowledge your needs and understand them well. You should know very well your needs, cause there is no one on this world that should know them better, than yourself.

Be aware that you are the only one who can » Read more: Awareness of needs – a path to autonomy

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Posted in Development, Leadership

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Before having is being

December 16th, 2009

So there is a misconception saying that “We need to have something before being or acting”.

And I will explain about this with some short examples:
- We want to have respect of the others, before respecting them (before being respectful to them)
- We want to have understanding of others, before we try to understand them
- We want to have attention of others, before we pay attention to them
- We want to have forgiveness of others, before we forgive them
- We want to have caring of others, before we care about them
- We want to have love of others, before loving them

And here the list is as long as we want to make it.

What is the trick here?

Some people consider » Read more: Before having is being

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Posted in Development, Life

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Stories we tell

November 26th, 2009

In our lives, it happens to tell ourselves stories from time to time.

What I mean by stories, I mean we create an entire story about reasons and excuses and blames that are stopping us to take an action, to do something, to create something.

But I’ve started in the last period to be aware of the items that stops me to achieve results or create success or empower other people.

And I’ve told myself: Stop listen to your stories! They are only based on things from the past or based on what I think it will happen in the future. So nothing real, nothing tangible. These stories are not real.

How I will do this? It is very simple:

When you realize that you can do anything then you know that every story you tell to yourself it is a bullshit :)

So I’m asking myself: Is the story I’m telling myself a real one? How could this » Read more: Stories we tell

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Posted in Development, Life

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Do first things, first

November 23rd, 2009

Actually this article is about how to assign priorities to the things you need to do during a day, a week, a year, the entire life.

So, let’s say I have a list of things that needs to be done. Some of them are things I want to do, some of them are things I don’t want to do.

And depending on my level of acknowledgment, the things I need to do should be very few. But they are still there for most of us :)

The giant step to do is to write then down! Without this, there is no point going further with this article :)

The First and Golden Rule is: eliminate everything that has no importance at all in your life.

So the first step is: Read the list of tasks and » Read more: Do first things, first

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Posted in Development, Life

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How to follow-up feedback

September 28th, 2009

What we’ve learned so far was how to give feedback, how to receive feedback.

And here is a common situation: I’ve already give a negative feedback to someone, the process was good, the other listen and received well, but after a while, he/she is making the same thing, or the improvements are not the one expected and agreed.

In this case I need to give a second feedback: the follow-up feedback

I APPRECIATE YOU

When I need to give a second feedback on the same matter, I try to appreciate the efforts the other made to remedy the situation or behavior. I try to accentuate the positive and the evolution and in the same time make clear that there are still things that needs to be improved.

I’M OPTIMIST

OPENNESS

I try to show that I’m open to understand what happened and that we can work together to see what are the next steps. I try to help other understand what need to be done and where to put the focus.

WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS

COMMUNICATE about COMMUNICATION

I try to obtain a feedback about my first communication. And I’m trying to see if there was any things that were unclear or not well understood.

WE ARE SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE

You can you the following phrase to start the follow-up feedback:
“I noticed that after my last feedback you made some good steps. Now it is time to try together to identify what still need to be improved and what sabotaged this improvement. Also I would like to listen from you what you think about my last feedback and what things were not communicated clear or were uncertain”.

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Posted in Development, People

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How to receive feedback

September 25th, 2009

“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said” – Peter F. Drucker

I EVOLVE

Don’t be upset when you receive a negative feedback, no matter the form used by the other to give it. Remember this is an interaction from which you and I evolve. Both of us means well and it is trying to help other to evolve and learn something.

I LISTEN TO YOU.

I’M OPEN

If the feedback is not transmitted in a desired way, tell the other this as simple and clear as possible. Show the other how a feedback should be give and communicate clearly what you need.

I UNDERSTAND YOU

I WANT TO LEARN

If the feedback contains a general qualitative assumption (like “You’re good” or “You are bad”), suggest to the other to establish system of values reference at. Avoid a discussion about which systems of values is good or which is bad. Just stay focus on the subject.

I APPRECIATE YOU

I ACCEPT

Admit the mistake you’ve made (when a negative feedback) or the good thing you’ve done (at a positive feedback) and try to obtain as many information as you can to solve the issue (for negative feedback) or continue on the same path (in case of positive feedback)

HELP ME UNDERSTAND

I CARE WHAT YOU THINK

Do not say excuses or try to blame for negative feedback, or try to minimize your involvement. Just communicate that you care about the other person’s feelings.

I CARE ABOUT YOU

There is more about feedback: the follow-up feedback. I will write about this in the next post

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Posted in Development, People

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How to give feedback

September 23rd, 2009

What is the shortest english word which contains the letters: A, B, C, D, E, F? It is: Feedback

SIMPLE

Make it simple. Just say what you want to say, without adding any unnecessary words or ideas.

OPENNESS

The most important message that you want to communicate during a feedback is: “I’m ok, you are ok!”. This is made by attitude and tone of voice. This will open a communication channel between you as giver and the other person as receiver.

HE/SHE WILL LISTEN.

HELP

An important thing to establish from the beggining is that you will not give feedback to the person, but you will give feedback for activity or results. And you need to accentuate the fact that you are willing to provide help for the other to identify problems and solutions. This way the receiver will be willing to discuss very open and easy about the results, without » Read more: How to give feedback

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Posted in Development, People

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