Lucian Ghinda » Leadership

Awareness of needs – a path to autonomy

Lucian — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 12:10:26 +0000

Autonomy is one of the big points that improves leadership and allows a person to take good decisions.

One of the big instruments that gives power to autonomy is the awareness of our needs.

Why is this important? Because when you know your needs, then you know what is determining some of your behaviors. And just by knowing this, you improve your autonomy.

Every person has needs and not recognizing this means you just ignore a true fact: you, like anyone else have needs.

What to do about needs:

Acknowledge your needs and understand them well. You should know very well your needs, cause there is no one on this world that should know them better, than yourself.

Be aware that you are the only one who can fulfill your needs. And thus you need to communicate them clear to everyone who can help you fulfill them. And you are the one who decide who can and who cannot help with with this.

Find creative ways to fulfill your needs. What I want to say with this?
This means that if what you are currently doing is not working, try to do something new.
This means that is relationship is not fulfilling your needs, maybe you should consider changing your perspective about this relation or find another person who can understand you.
This means if the responses you get are not the way you want, maybe you should ask different questions or communicate in other way or with other people.

Do not change your needs

This is a very delicate subject and pay attention not to enter in the trap of “changing” needs that support your development only because it is more confortable for you to change them instead of fulfill them.

A need is not a desire. So you cannot change a need

What you can do with a need, is to move focus or decide it is not important for your current situation.

And also you can actively be aware that some needs are not yours, but are others needs. And thus you can eliminate them.

So in the end, being aware of your needs is an act of power and autonomy as you don’t let yourself drive by them, but you drive your needs to fulfillment.

You are the driver of your needs. You own your needs so act accordingly.

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Really listening to others

Lucian — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:00:24 +0000

This is the most important aspect of any human interaction: The ability to listen what other is saying!

Probably you, like me, got into a discussion with an already well anchored idea. I believed that what I know and what I think it is the right thing to say or to do.

And I’ve started to interrupt the other person and started to make judgments, cause I really knew well the situation.

But, I’ve found out that my assumptions and my believes can be very far away than what the other person is trying to communicate to me. And by doing so, I just end the communication cause I make other to get defensive or offensive. And when a part of communication is in this state, there is no communication.

Also I’ve found that if I really listen to others, I can be more creative about solving a problem or dealing with a situation.

Cause if I really listen, then the communication always bring more details, information that can help me take a decision or act.
And most important of all, I can transmit to the other that what he/she is saying it is important for me.

It helps if I try to see what others are thinking and try to imagine myself in their place. This help me understand them and listen to them more carrefully.

One gold rule I’ve learned about conversations is this: If someone opens to you and try to communicate something that bothers him/her, do NOT interrupt it ever. Don’t make judgments or assumptions during the openness part of the conversation. Just stay there and listen or encourage him to continue.

Who’s around?

Lucian — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:56:56 +0000

Here is a great question from a book (Ken Blanchard – Whale Done) I’ve read:

Did you ever noticed when you’re life is not working, who’s always around?

Now it makes more sense to me.

You can try to go into the blame state and become very creative with it. As I’ve learned from a Synergy Training the blame state can go all around from little things to life and God.

Try to ask yourself this question, every time you think there are things not working in your life.

Also let me rephrase it this way:

Did you ever noticed when a project it is not working, who’s always around?

Did you ever noticed when a team is it not collaborating well, who’s always around?

Like I’ve said, everyone can find a million answer to each question. And we can find a million arguments for what an answer is the proper one.

BUT, there is one single true answer to this question: YOU

You are around every time something goes better AND also you are around everytime something goes wrong.

So truly you can make a difference!

So you have the power to change things starting with you

Productivity, Excellence and The Four Arguments

Lucian — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 08:00:21 +0000

Here is how the Four Arguments become the first four steps on your the road to productivity and excellence.

Let’s take the four arguments, one by one:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
This means to always be in accordance with what you are saying, with your highest belives. Whenever you or your team are engaging or committing to a project, then you should remain focus on it and keep your promises. Also don’t be afraid to say No to projects. This is also a part of being impeccable with your word. Saying No means that you know what you can do in a particular moment of your life and know what it is to improve.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally.
This is part of the feedback. You should accept feedback from your bosses, from your team and from your clients. Don’t be afraid of negative feedback and don’t take it personally. This will allow you to introspect yourself and find ways to improve. A beautiful quote is saying: “Feedback, the breakfast of champions” (Ken Blanchard)

3.Don’t Make Assumptions.
If you don’t understand a task, a project, a direction, ask for clarifications. Also don’t assume what your employees want or what motivate them. It is important not to assume how anyone think, but to open communication and listen carefully.

4. Always Do Your Best
You should always want the best, ask for the best from your employees and praise them when they are doing their best. Be a model for your team and make clear for them that you want excellence. This is the first rule of creating great products: Strike for the best and do whatever is necessary to accomplish it. Do your best and ask for the others to do the same.

Don’t know exactly who said this “Don’t Tell Me The Sky Is The Limit, There Are Footprints On The Moon!” but it is a very good quote.