Four relationships rules

Lucian — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:08:52 +0000

I’ve remembered recently what a very good person told me about the four rules of relations between human beings.

And today as I’ve experienced one of them I want to share them here and thus be sure whenever I want I can recall them:

1. Give
Give means simple giving.

Like I’ve explained in one of my previous posts: Dare to give, to simple give to others, without expectations, without regrets. Just give fully.
So the most important thing to remember here is: give without expecting anything in return.

Without creating expectations and without trying to make the other one someone obliged to me.

2. Ask
Most of the people cannot read minds

So I should not expect them to know what I want, I desire or I need.

The most simple way to communicate what I’m thinking is to tell and thus the most simple way to ask is to ask.
Asking for help or asking for something, should be done correctly by letting to the other the choice to choose. So I should be aware that the probability to receive a Yes it is egual with the probability to receive a No. So it is 50/50

This way when I’m asking for something, I should not raise my expectation higher than the reality.

photo credit: Pete Ashton

3. Receive
First when I accept something, I should be fully aware of the consequences of my acceptance.
Also, I should not feel obliged by my acceptance and try not to limit any possibilities.
Receiving should be as simple as giving. I receive something and this is everything that is about it
On the other hand, when someone if accepting something from myself, I will not consider this a contract between us.

4. Refuse
I’m the owner of my choice.

So when someone is giving me something I have the option to deny it. It is my choice, so he/she shouldn’t be offended by my refusal.
I can refuse something because it is too much for me and I by accepting it I will probably feel obliged somehow to that person.
In many cultures giving a too big (or too small) gift it was considered an insulte and this was the reason: not to make anyone feel obliged by a gift.
Also I will not take any refuse personally. It is just the choice of the other person and I will respect that choice.

Lucian Ghinda » ask

Four relationships rules